How Many Times

I want to be the one to tell you it's alright, it's okay, when you wake up screaming in the middle of the night and you're drenched in cold sweat but more importantly drowning in old memories of the black and white that lived long ago. Those days are extinct now but your recounts of them live on despairingly despite your continued efforts to forget. I pity that you suffer now from the atrocities of other people, other men under orders from their superiors up there in ivory towers who see nothing but what they themselves receive because long ago they realized how easy it was to fool. I want to be the one to stroke your midnight black hair back from your face and rub your back soothingly as if you were a child again because even if I spend the rest of my days with you it seems it wouldn't be enough not being there for you. And I know it seems strange but I wish your skeptical nature would accept and believe just this once to let me love you. I know you've been hurt before and all that other shit everybody uses as lame excuses to avoid commitment. I know that you don't lie until you want to conceal and not to deceive but please conceive of the idea that some people do still have happy ever afters. I can say this despite having been knocked to the ground and having shattered; having loved and lost: but all that matters now is you and me, and us. And I want to let you know that in terms of math, I've never passed exam when I'm still clinging on to the idea that you and I added together should equal one since we are the same, inside. I want to touch you and melt the wall of ice you've built around yourself because I understand you only erected it to see who would be brave enough to knock it down. Does it scare you that despite your valiant efforts I know so much about you? It scares me to know that there is still more to you, that I have barely even scraped the surface in all my actions and words. So upon my farewell I hereby bequeath to you all that I have and all I have given to let you know:
I want you and I love you.

Viva la Vida.