Barriers

IN recent months I believe my parents have been considering what's going to happen when they die. This may seem like morbid subject matter for any casual conversation in a car but I suppose with my family dying isn't something to be afraid of. I mean we're not exactly gonna enthuse about dying and gladly throw ourselves at death but we accept that it is going to happen one day to all of us, be it sooner or later.
My mum started cracking this joke about how she wanted her ashes to be spread over this shopping market near our house which is essentially her second home. She knows every shortcut and every sale and best deal there, making her almost necessary for any visit my family is planning to pay to the place. Of course that also makes it her 'place to go'. No matter what you need her solution will inevitably be there.
At the same time she wants the ashes of her favrorite dog, Haydn, to be scattered along with her. She does believe in reincarnation but she claims that she would like to go shopping forever.
My dad was a little more philosophical. He told us to go somewhere, anywhere, and release his ashes on the wind so he would always remain a free spirit. Of course he probably just wants to be 'one' with the nature that he has helped nurture in that forest of a garden he just manages to keep at bay from invading our house.

Me?
I've learnt that the more you have, the more you have to lose, the more you'll have to let go of someday. But does that mean we should all build a mile-high wall around ourselves? Pretend not to care, feign ignorance and nonchalance at every last hand the world deals us?
I've tried that once. But something I realized when I did was that when I was hiding everything and trying to become the shadow of a mask, I still cared. Cared enough to sense what I was doing to the people around me and to myself. Closing up was never the solution.

At this point, wouldn't you be able to stop reading here, find a mirror and tell yourself that surely you can care about a great many things, today?