Barriers

People around you only look uncaring and distant because they're standing miles away, gathered at the foot of walls you erected yourself. You did it to stop things from coming in and hurting you but nowadays it's only stopping you from going out and getting healed. There's a risk behind every cure and this is one you've never been willing to take. When pain gets bitter it doesn't even remotely taste of medicine. It's like the drug you take to get high for a moment. Sometimes afterwards you blame every tiny mistake upon that past fault. You dramatize it to a certain extent trying to pretend it actually had such a huge impact on you when in reality you only want some attention; someone to walk in through your bedroom door after he hears you screaming from your nightmare. He'll pull your arm gently and suddenly you're free of sheets you were drowning in only seconds before. You know in your heart of hearts that this feels right, he has come solely to give and not to take. But even when that thought crosses your mind you know you will give in the end. You can't. So you push him away and erect another wall around yourself. Higher, stronger. Better.